Dear Bloggers... A Post Just To You

Kimberlee of I Have A Degree In This! posted on Monday about a party she had over the weekend, that consisted of her non-blogging friends and family as well as friends who are bloggers. 

Here is part of that post...
"Some have a negative idea of bloggers and think they are all self-absorbed because they take daily photos of themselves. Perhaps some are but I know for a majority of us, that is not the case. Most are typical every day girls brave enough to share their lives with the public. I try explaining how harsh the internet can be and how much I admire anyone who puts up a picture of themselves. When I worked at Lovelyish, I quickly learned how cruel the internet can be. That's why it's so important we support each other in this community. We still have a long way to go in gaining respect by the general public."

As I read her post I couldn't help but feel as if she were talking about me...

I started this blog as a hobby.
Something that would give me a creative outlet
and bring me some personal joy.
Something that I could share with Otto and Ava when they were older.
Something that I could be proud of that was just me being me.



Honestly, I had no idea what I was doing when I started and
I won't lie and say that I didn't have lofty goals
 and plans for my little blog because I did.

 I am a positive person and have great friends and family to boot.
I wondered if anonymity might be needed but then laughed it off as why?
I had thought that I would have love and support for my little hobby.
I thought that my blog would be viewed as creative
and a little more insight into me for my loved one's.

Another view into what makes me...

laugh,
love,
inspired,
joyful

I didn't expect to be thought to be...

 self-centered,
shallow,
self-absorbed,
lacking self esteem,
looking for validation from strangers,
or
(cringe)
a bad mother!

I wasn't prepared for comments such as:

"Why do you care what those people (blog reader's) have to say?"

(Without me asking if they are reading OAGJ)
 "I don't have time to read your silly little blog."

"You do realize that what you are doing isn't important, right?"

"Julie, the superintendent called me at ask about your professionalism
related to a blog you have because a colleague called him concerning it."




BUT...

that is exactly what happened.
The worst part is that all the support I thought I would have didn't really exist.
Oh sure, there were some WONDERFUL supporters.
But I still found myself ashamed and embarrassed.
I felt like I had to defend myself or act like it was a silly hobby
in order to be respected.

 To have my professionalism questioned!

I have my ability to care for my children questioned!

Unbelievable!

You would have thought that I was posting
Rated X content
with the outrage that I received from some people!

At that point I had to decide...

A) Hang up my blog for good and let the haters win.

or

B) Restructure my thoughts and focus to have my blog become the 'essential me'
To forget what "others" think or say and
remember what I liked about blogging to begin with.

I am in the process of letter B now.

I had considered letter A, especially recently when I entered my funk,
but decided that I WANT this little blog.

Because...

I am who I am~
I love clothes!
I love to style outfits!
I love to take photos!
I like how technology savvy I have become because of blogging!
I am dressing better!
I feel better!

If any of these things make me shallow or conceded than, oh well.
 If wanting a little something in this world that is just for me is bad than, oh well.
If liking pretty things is a crime than, oh well.
I would have been guilty with or without OAGJ.

SO...

Blogging it is!


Thanks fellow bloggers and Kimberlee for being so fantastic and fabulous!

I wouldn't be continuing this without all of you.

It is a comfort to know you are out there in the
blogsphere right along with me.

Please keep the inspiration, influence, sparkly, pretty, and lovely coming.




Sincerely and with thanks,

Julie


P.S.

Thank you Otto, Ava, and Greg,
for supporting me no matter what!
You have been the one port in the storm
and I love you with all my heart.